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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29058618">Don't Get Tortured Whilst Pregnant, Kiddos</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whitehorse102/pseuds/Whitehorse102'>Whitehorse102</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Blind Kanan Jarrus, Electrocution, F/M, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Jacen Syndulla is dead im sorry, Kinda?, Minor Character Death, Needles, Pregnancy Scares, Rescue, Vomiting, but like what if, hera's torture scene taken seriously, im sorry jacen i just dont love you enough i guess, its angsty but also fluffy, listen you do not get shot with truth serum and then immediately it wears off like come on, the gang's all here, this is fun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:53:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29058618</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whitehorse102/pseuds/Whitehorse102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Having a baby was a dream - a long, far away dream that was sparked by loving Ezra and Sabine so much. But like this? In the middle of a war? Finding out while being tortured? And not being able to tell him until it was maybe too late? Hera and Kanan escape from Lothal and blow up the fuel deposits....but not without a sacrifice.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>C1-10P | Chopper &amp; Hera Syndulla, C1-10P | Chopper &amp; Kanan Jarrus &amp; Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios &amp; Hera Syndulla &amp; Sabine Wren, Ezra Bridger &amp; Hera Syndulla, Ezra Bridger &amp; Kanan Jarrus, Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios &amp; Hera Syndulla, Hera Syndulla &amp; Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus &amp; Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Kanan Jarrus &amp; Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't Get Tortured Whilst Pregnant, Kiddos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hera wanted to scream more - but her voice was just gone. The electric probe rested happily at each of her collarbones, sending their malicious and loaded lightning down each and every bone in her body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her teeth rattled and her eyes couldn’t decide if they could stay open or not, her lekku shook so much they may have been inches from falling off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera was sure she was going to die. Even scarier, she </span>
  <em>
    <span>wanted </span>
  </em>
  <span>to die. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then the probes lifted and she gasped. Tears burned as they were forced from her eyes - she was only barely aware of them. Her vision took a scary moment to return, and that’s when Governor Pryce grabbed her chin. She shivered. The human’s icy blue gaze was amused. “Well we’ll, General Syndulla. We’ve made some remarkable discoveries together today, haven't we?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera wanted to spit in her eyes. She wanted to bite her nose off. She wanted her lekku to lash out and choke her viciously like she and Kanan had seen in that one holo what felt like a million years ago. She almost smiled at the memory of his unstoppable, sobbing laughs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, her neck muscles ached and she coughed a little. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve discovered you have a </span>
  <em>
    <span>beautiful </span>
  </em>
  <span>voice.” The general mocked, stroking a gloved finger down Hera’s cheek - out of the way of a fresh tear. “And….” she gasped mockingly, chuckling as she slowly lowered her hands down Hera’s torso.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera hummed. “I didn’t take you for the type.” She managed, her voice absolutely wrecked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Governor Pryce  paused in her exploration downward. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera managed a smirk. “Unfortunately for you, I’m taken. I appreciate the offer, though.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Governor Pryce punched her in the stomach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera actually vomited - unfortunately there wasn’t enough food to hit the governor, and instead it splattered onto her prisoner overalls. She coughed and her body attempted another wretch -  it nothing came up but spittle. Her stomach ached and her whole body spasmed in protest, the urge to curl forward protectively hindered by the metal restraints holding her still and upright. Said torture device tilted back hard, and Hera’s head slammed into it’s icy metal. She let out a shaky sob. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The device lowered again and the general hummed in mock sympathy. “I’d think you would proceed with more care, Syndulla. Our reports are always saying what a motherly type you are.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera’s brain had stopped functioning properly minutes ago. But the words made her tilt her head, a lekku dangling despondently over her shoulder. “Hu-h?” She managed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The governor blinked, then laughed. A cruel, unrelenting laugh that filled and echoed around the metal walls of her office. She flicked her bowl cut of a hair cut off her shoulder. “Oh my dearest - you don’t know yet, do you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Motherly? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Hera had her kids - she knew that. She had Sabine, and Ezra, and Chopper too she supposed. Zeb was more like a younger brother. But there was also Marty and the other recruits, the Phoenix squadron’s team. But what did that have to do with this moment right now? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The governor smiled. “No worries, dear. It won’t get in the way of our investigation.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera stared at Pryce, snarling. She imagined how good it would feel to put her in this</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>chair, to have her suffer the way Hera was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Whatever Pryce saw in her gaze, she didn’t like it. She hummed. “Alright. General Syndulla, since you’ve made this so hard-” She nodded above Hera, and a small little droid floated into her line of sight. “Let’s see if the Imperial Mind Probe can get you to tell us the truth.” She snapped her fingers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera looked up to see the tiny black droid, and it’s impossibly long needle practically dripping with the blue syrup. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera tried a faint jerk to get away, but the droid was ruthless. It slammed the needle through the side of her neck. The pain was white hot - horrible enough to make her want to gag all over again. She let out a long gasp, feeling the needle scrape her collarbone as it retreated. Quickly, her mouth filled with the taste of metal. Her tongue felt too big, her lekku twitched rapidly. “No…” she murmured. Desperately, she tried to rally her thoughts - but the pain was leaving her body, and soon instead she felt she were breathing in cotton.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The droid pulled out the needle entirely, leaving her neck numb and bloody.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The world was spinning and drool was falling from her lips. She felt like her blood had thickened - it was slowly swirling around in pools near her neck, chest, and head. Her heartbeat was unnecessarily hard against her rib cage. She let her head fall, it suddenly too heavy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pryce grabbed Hera’s chin and lifted her gaze to meet hers. Blue, but twisted and tight. “Now then, relaxed enough to talk about your baby? Or, perhaps even the location of the rebel fleet?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love babies.” Hera sighed, gaze wandering to the window. “I wanted one….”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And you got one, dear.” The governor rubbed at Hera’s stomach - a gesture that did make Hera squirm. Her gloved hands felt unnecessarily hot and harsh.  “I would say congratulations, but it may already be dead.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kanan wanted a baby…” Hera frowned at the window. “Kanan….” she stopped as a blink took too long. One second she saw nothing but blurred lights of Lothal, the next - Kanan. Holding onto a magnetic sucker cup and staring unseeingly into the window. She smiled, wanting to get to him. She tried to reach outwards  but was held back by heavy and hard. “Kanan’s here!” She announced. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The governor spun to the window, which was empty again, “Ah, your delusional my dear. Perhaps I’ve pushed you too far.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera didn’t care about the rest of what was said, she was too busy trying to jump around in the restraining table. All she could think about was Kanan. He had come, he was going to save her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The governor shoved her face backwards, which was a pause in the single thought trail of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kanan-home-Kanan-home </span>
  </em>
  <span>to make her snarl in warning at the fingers near her eyes. “Don’t get too comfortable, my sweet. I’ll be back in just a moment.” Pryce promised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Hera blinked and she was alone with two bucket heads. And Kanan. She laughed. “Guys, I’m gonna be honest with you.” The idea of how Kanan could so easily destroy these troopers…. “You’re in terrible trouble.” She wheezed into a giggle - maybe something did hurt in her rib cage? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then a saber cut a neat hole through the floor, and a trooper disappeared. In came Kanan, a flash of cloudy eyes and blue saber. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Huh.” She looked around just to make sure. “I thought he would’ve come from the window.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The evil little droid went to try and stab Kanan after a crash of glass and a scream from a fall. Kanan swiftly stabbed instead, and the droid fell to the floor with a smoking red hole in it, sparking and squealing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan kicked it out of the hole he had entered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera cheered. “That droid </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>deserved that!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She blinked and Kanan was at her feet, opening the restraints on her ankles. He popped back to his feet, so fast Hera’s head rolled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry.” He said. “Guess I’m a little late.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took away the last brace holding her up, and she felt suddenly too heavy. But she breathed; “I forgive you,” to Kanan before collapsing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But because he was Kanan, he simply caught her and held her upright. A new weight around her hips and fingers spread over her back. She could ignore how her knees knocked together and how her feet couldn’t straighten with his hands on her back. “Oh, I see.” He said. He lifted her around a little more, smiling that gentle smile that made her melt. “We’re in a special mood thanks to the interrogation droid.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He set her back on the open restraint carefully, making sure she was holding herself up. He passed her a handkerchief, and she absentmindedly wiped the drying vomit from her lips and neck as he knelt to grab his magnetic clamps. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera sagged heavily. “Well, I didn’t like that droid, Kanan.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled. “No.” He paused to take his handkerchief from her, folding it over the wasted parts and pressing it to her neck. She hissed slightly, but lifted her hand to hold it against the wound. He smiled softly at her, then let himself under her arm and took her weight. “I didn’t like that droid either.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started to carry her to the window, when something the Governor said tickled at her mind. “Wait! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wait!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>She hissed, trying to curl her fingers around Kanan’s jacket but finding them unresponsive. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan stopped and faced her, blinking and waiting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera grasped his cheek. “I have to tell you something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ever patient, he waited. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I...I think…” she paused, her fingers feeling something again. Short. Bristled spikes where there were once soft locks. She pushed her hand farther up his head, running them through the now short spikes. “I hate your hair.” She managed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed. “It was the best I could do without a mirror!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera rolled her eyes. “Kanan, your hair hasn’t been this short since the day we first met.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That reminds me! I brought you a present.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A present!? Kanan, you haven’t brought me a present since we first met.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed again. “I know.” He handed her...her family heirloom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her chest did a weird jumpy thing, but she couldn’t remember why. “Kanan...this is mine?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” He was grinning at her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then...it’s not really a present?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled and let his arm wrap around her back entirely. Something pounded on the door. He glanced at it, then at her. “Time to go!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She obediently threw her arms around his neck and didn’t question how he stuck to the wall and began to climb. The handkerchief was lost as soon as they were in open air. The sounds of Lothal at night used to be full of whistles, shouts, and speeders. Under Imperial occupation, it was all silent however.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t the most comfortable position, no. Her legs dangled and ached, and her head pounded. But she could feel his tension, so she nuzzled close to his back, feeling it work as he lifted them both. He smelled of sweat, of Lothal’s wild grasses and a little bit of wolf. But under all that - it was Kanan.  “I knew you’d come.” She whispered into his ear. “And I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>letting you go again.” She squeezed her arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He grunted a laugh. “I hope not, it’s a long way down.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Soon he was sweating, and her arms were tired, and then he crawled over an edge and collapsed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She rolled off of him, her pain starting to come back. “You’ve always been there for me.” She murmured. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> He got to his feet, and she tried to do the same. “Well, that’s the job - isn’t it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! That is not what I’m saying-whoa!” She gasped as the world spun and her legs gave out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Careful!” Kanan shouted, grabbing her arm and yanking her right back into him. She sighed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan turned her away from the edge. “What </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>you saying?” He demanded, angry because of how scared he was = if his heartbeat was anything to go off of. Hera had something to tell him, but then her gaze drifted over his shoulder….</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa!” She gasped. “Did you fly in on those things?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He huffed a laugh. “Yeah...the kids came up with that one.” She began to reach for the bat wings, and Kanan let her sit on one gently. She marveled at the bone like structure and the sturdy fabrics. “Don’t worry, a real ride should be here to pick us up any second.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I don’t know, Kanan - I kind of want to try these.” She looked up at him, her lekku aching with the movement.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was smiling. “You would.” He murmured. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alarms blared, a gun shot nearly hit her in the arm. Kanan drew his saber and she rolled backwards, grabbing his blaster off his thigh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her vision wasn’t great still, but thankfully the stormtroopers were blurs of easy to see white. She shot out at them. Behind them, that weird Rukt creature snarled a warning - but always ready, Kanan turned and thrust his hands out. The creature screamed as it was tossed back over the edge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera landed a hit, but then winced as her arm seized up in a weird electric jolt. She looked to the wings, and then thrust the gun at Kanan. “Try this!” She ordered. With a heave, she pushed the wings around, turning them into a take off ready position. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re flying!” Kanan said, helping her lift it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course!” She rolled her eyes. They pushed off, and for a terrifying and amazingly free second they dipped low - an almost plummet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then she pulled up, lifting her head and arching her back even as her stomach groaned - and they soared upwards. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan right next to her - the whole of the sky in front of them - this was peace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then the wing sported a smoking red hole. “Not good.” She said. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just get us to the fuel depo!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know it’ll hold that long!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I trust you!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera bit back a random sob, but leaned into Kanan and pushed the wings for speed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even with the stress of the unsteady wing, the air stopped feeling so stuffed with cotton. Instead it was a cool breeze that finally let her sigh. Her head was beginning to clear, the fog lifting just slightly. Kanan leaned into her, unseeing eyes looking at her. “Coming back?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I think. But-” She had to swirl with an oncoming breeze. “Let me </span>
  <em>
    <span>focus</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Captain.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even with her mind hard at work, she appreciated the warmth of Kanan and the feel of the wind. The sedation was wearing off, but occasionally Hera’s vision would blur, and she would just have to trust her original sight to keep them on the right path.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was due to this blurred vision that she almost completely flattened them onto pavement in the depo. They landed with three thuds, and the peace was ruined. She gasped and hacked as Kanan was tossed off the bat, thankfully rolling only just out in front of her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was on his knees back to her in a second. “Hera.” He breathed, hands reaching to touch her arm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She dry heaved, shivering as the drugs were being forced out of her body - or losing their affect. “I-I’m alright.” She managed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan pulled her off of the wings and held her. She felt something warm and distracting flash through her. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Hera. Be strong for just a little longer.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera stuttered an agreement and they got to their feet. Thankfully, her legs held her. Still, Kanan held her hand as he pulled her towards a ladder onto the oil deposit. “And hey, in good news - that was one of your better crashes.” He grinned that stupid little smirk, and she nearly smacked him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kanan. Jarrus. I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>crash. I have very-” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Very exciting landings, yes, I know.” He laughed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They made it to the ladder, though looking up made Hera stumble and her stomach knotted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kids are ready for us up there.” He informed her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera looked at him. “Kanan….I can’t climb that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who said we were gonna climb?” Kanan laughed. He stopped, pulled her to him, and lifted her off her sore legs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She gasped and uneasily clung to his neck. “Oh, please don’t-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You liked when I did this back in the cargo hatch.” He murmured, a tease and a comfort. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was high off an orgasm then!” She hissed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kana tightened his grip. “I won’t drop you, I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera shut her eyes and leaned into his neck. “Just hurry.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And so Kanan jumped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once again, they flew through the air - but this time she had no control whatsoever and so it was arguably worse - but at the same time she could feel Kanan’s heartbeat against her ear. At the same time she could feel his lungs inhale and exhale. She could hold him as close as she wanted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They landed softly with no little stumble. She opened her eyes to smirk at him. “You’ve gotten better. Last time we nearly fell.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed and gently set her down. But then what she had been trying to tell him brushed her mind, and she clung tight to him. “Wait.” She gasped. “Kanan….Kanan….” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy, easy.” He soothed. He rubbed her arm, gently reaching up and around her bruised and still slightly bleeding neck. “Deep breaths, Hera. We’ll get you the counteractive for the truth serum, just hang on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Horrible and panic shot through her and she gripped the very last bit of his hair. “Kanan Jarrus; listen to me.” She took a shivery breath. “I love you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He blinked. “I love you, too.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her lips quivered at his soft tone. “But…” she groaned in frustration, putting two fingers between her eyebrows to try and stall the migraine. “There’s more.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan frowned at her. “Hera, I promise whatever it is you can tell me when we’re home.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head. “But what if she killed them?!” Tears leaked from her eyes, sudden and violent. Hera wanted to vomit, to throw up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan shushed her, grabbing her face in his hands and rubbing his thumbs under her eyes. “Hey, hey, hey. Hera, I don’t know what you mean. No one’s going to die tonight.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera sniffled. In desperation, she threw herself into his lips. He caught her easily, hands tilting her head to better the angle. She hiccuped and he soothed her with a gentle stroke of his tongue over her lower lip. She felt her whole body tremble and relax forcibly, enough to pull her back from his lips. “Don’t leave me to deal with this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No need.” He nudged her and she turned to see her kids - Ezra and Sabine, smiling and waving from a stolen imperial transport. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get in already!” Ezra called, waving.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera nodded, wiping tears. Kanan suddenly grabbed her - no wait, nothing grabbed her. She was just suddenly, gently floating into the arms of Ezra. Her beautiful adopted son gave her a squeeze, then let her lie down and gave her a swift poke in the cheek. “Missed you.” He grinned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She poked him back, though her finger slipped and she ended up over his eyebrow. “Missed you, too.” She looked over just in time to see Kanan wave his arms high. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Over here!” He shouted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then a large gun went off - an AT-AT of some sort, and with a wild grin, Kanan threw himself incredibly far - right into the transport. “Move, now!” He grabbed his padawan by the neck and pushed him down, then threw himself over Hera. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera felt more than saw the explosion. The depo went up in a spectacular fashion that sent them flying almost out of the sky. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sabine screamed as she just barely managed to hold the transport. Kanan held tight to Hera - so tight it hurt. But they flew away, safe and into the night.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>When she next woke, Kanan was sitting over her. She murmured and he turned. “Welcome back, love.” He smiled. For a second, a single second, she thought she could see his blue eyes again. But then they were back to that white film covering them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera was aware - but also aware that her body wasn’t responding well. She was clearly under some pain killer influence. Though, she had a clear thought. “Kanan?” Her lips quivered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turned completely and grasped her hand, lifting it between his and to his chest. She wished she could feel his thumbs rubbing around her skin. “It’s alright now, Hera. You’re healing. No one else was hurt.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera shivered. “But…” she started to cry. She took a deep breath and ripped off the bandaid, remembering the cruel words and the punch to the stomach. “Kanan….I’m-I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>pregnant</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan shifted, but nodded. He lifted his one hand and brushed her tears. “I know.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her jaw dropped. Then white hot anger rushed through her. “What do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>mean, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! How could you-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stammered, lifting his free hand in surrender. “Hera, Hera wait, wait, wait- </span>
  <em>
    <span>listen. </span>
  </em>
  <span>How in the force could </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>tell </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>that you’re pregnant?! That’s not how this is supposed to go!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span>-?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The force, alright?” He gave a little breathless chuckle and kissed her knuckles. “I only knew when we kissed goodbye. I just felt a - a spark. Like we had another force sensitive, and I just...I figured it out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera stared at him. Then she sniffled hard and felt more tears down her face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay, I know.” Kanan stroked her fingers, and</span>
  <em>
    <span> that</span>
  </em>
  <span> she thought she could almost feel. “I know we wanted this, but I know we wanted it some other time - after the Empire. If it’s too early for you, Hera. Or…” He took a deep breath. “If you don’t want this, when I’m like this;” he waved his hand over his unseeing gaze, “then we’ll do something about it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kanan -“ she sobbed. Kanan stood and wrapped her in a hug, and she melted into him. She rested her head against his shoulder, crying into his chest. This beautiful man, who was willing to give up their baby for her comfort, who also wanted to love their baby. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The odds weren’t supposed to be in their favor - interspecies childbirth was rare between Twi'lek and humans. But, it had happened before, in a rare blue moon. They just never thought they would be the lucky ones.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course they still dreamed about it. One busy week, where they could only see each other in passing, where they would whisper potential names for their child in each other's ears’ and make the other flush and freeze up. Kanan made jokes that if he raised Ezra, he could raise anybody. Hera said she would be the tough parent, and Kanan the fun one. The image of their kid falling asleep on babysitter Zeb. They both wanted this. They both wanted this, </span>
  <em>
    <span>badly. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And still, Kanan offered to give it up for her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Enough of a thought to really break her, it still wasn’t why she sobbed. “It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Kanan.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stiffened. “What?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Governor Pryce...she...she...she could have killed it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan pulled her back and held her head, not too far. His blank eyes scanned hers, serious and terrified. “What did she do to you?” His voice was a low growl.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera shuddered. They had rules - not to go into details, as both got murderously angry about it. But this...this was too important. “Electro shock torture - and she punched me right in the stomach after she found out. Plus there’s a very real chance that the-the truth serum could have been infested by it too. I only found out because she told me, the scans confirmed it...and then she just-” Her lips quivered and she cut herself off with something awful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan was absolutely still. Slowly, almost robotically - he held her close. “Oh, Hera.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span> “I didn’t even know, Kanan. I could have found out too late - it could already be dead in the water.” She sobbed again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “Hera, I need you to listen to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice was trembling against her temple and he hiccuped slightly. “If we have lost this baby to the empire before we even got to celebrate it - I will burn it all down.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera nodded in agreement. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But-“ he sighed and kissed her again. “Let’s not jump to conclusions. We already beat the odds once - we might actually be having a child, Hera! We might get lucky twice.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He reached for a comm and summoned the med droid. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera stayed close and encaptured in his arms, crying softly in fear and in anger. He cried softly as well, but then turned her head and began kissing her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She let out a strangled “mmph.” Into his mouth at first, startled and surprised. She could feel her tears touching against his. Hera melted softly into his mouth. He pulled back just enough to whisper. “I just want to feel the spark again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the most intense kiss they’d ever shared - and they’d shared a lot. Including a cliche one with an explosion in the background. They’d kissed in back alleys and with Stormtroopers staring at them and once had been caught in the closet by Ezra. But this was a searching, searing kiss. One that Hera gave everything up to, hoping he could find their child in the mess of her broken body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The med droid came in, making them pause. As the droid whirled to the computer, Kanna squeezed her hands. More tears rolled down his eyes, not a good sign. But he stood and she scooted up for him. He sat behind her, curling his legs around her sides and holding tight to her hands. Right there with her, the whole way. He stayed a strong, level headed comfort even as he choked on tears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The med droid ran his initial scan of Hera. “You are progressing well, Hera. You will recover.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shivered, and Kanan explained for her, his voice shaky and still.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The med-droid wasted no time. They were quick to lift Hera’s sleep shirt and start scanning the black and purple bruise - large and ugly enough to make her cry in teror. The droid carefully lowered the waistline of her pants as well, and Hera clasped tightly to Kanan’s hands, holding them against her lips as she hiccuped. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan, crying, murmured into her ear and tried to soothe her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The med-droid opened a second scan and plugged into the computer, the room suddenly ashwash in blue light as it loaded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that initial scan, the droid had her spread her legs and gently checked her undergarments for blood. Hera almost actually screamed when they found those damning steaks of red. Instead, Kanan squeezed her hands tightly and squeezed her shoulders with his arms - so a choked off, desperate little noise came out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The droid turned off the computer and faced its patient. “Inconclusive at the moment. I detect the extra proteins being pushed, and your placenta has grown and is seemingly producing. However, I detect no heartbeat or life forms.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera muffled another sob and Kanan glared. “So, we just have to wait?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The results should reveal themselves within the week. General Sundulla’s body is also still in shock, and that can affect our results. She needs time and rest before conclusive evidence and action can be taken.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera closed her eyes against the flood of tears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The med-droid put its metal hand on her thigh. “General, if it is the worst case scenario, it wasn’t the punch that would have done the damage. You are clearly not far along, it may have not even developed in full yet.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A cold comfort, but a comfort nonetheless. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wiped her eyes and nodded. Kanan passed her a tissue.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I recommend scans every two hours. No physical activity for two weeks. Lots of calorie thick foods. Otherwise, rest as normal. We will continuously monitor.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera managed a shaky breath, and a shaky nod. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan squeezed her fingers. “Thank you.” He said, his voice ragged. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The med-droid turned and typed a few updates to her profile. The droid then turned and left. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan cried softly with and for Hera. They sat for about half an hour, pleading and crying. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, Hera managed to calm down enough. “Kanan, did you...did you sense the spark?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pushed his head against her forehead, taking a shaky breath and winding his arms around her. He shook his head back and forth sadly, bristled hair rubbing against the base of her lekku. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera closed her eyes as the fresh wave of tears overwhelmed her. She squeezed his wrist, feeling his heartbeat. Taking a deep breath, she breathed; “Together. I’m so glad you’re here with me through this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan nodded. “Of course I am, Hera. I’d follow you anywhere, everywhere.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They shifted on Hera’s movements, lying down next to each other. Hera curled into him, her nose against the edge of his jaw. He wrapped his arms around her back, pulling her flush to him. He very carefully stroked the back of her neck. She shoved her leg between his and he gently squeezed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Together they let their fears fill the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, Hera fell asleep.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The next time she awoke, it was to Kanan speaking into a comm. The med-droid was just finishing scanning her midsection. The droid shook its head at her before she could ask. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan smiled at her, wagging the comms. “The spectres.” He explained. “They wanna see you - if you feel up for it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera stretched carefully and nodded. “Yes, please.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan grinned and kissed her on the temple, helping her sit upright. He talked into the comm; “She said yes.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both laughed as they heard a loud series of bangs and shouts, and then the door flew open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ezra, Sabine, and Zeb all stood there - breathless and grinning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera grinned as well as they rushed to her. Sabine threw herself on the bed, curling up under Hera’s arm as she used to when she was just a small thirteen year old dealing with the beginnings of a period. Ezra poked her in the cheek with his tongue between his teeth, and Hera poked him back playfully. Zeb grasped her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There you are.” She murmured to them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We missed you.” Sabine said, voice muffled against Hera’s shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Seriously.” Ezra breathed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I missed you, too.” She smiled. “What about the attack?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zeb started, and Ezra filled in. Kanan sat at the end of the mattress and also threw in his two cents. Sabine spoke of the fuel depo’s explosion causing a major relief to the Rebellion - it would take time before Lothal could mass produce again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Which means there’s an opening.” Hera nodded approvingly at Kanan, who shrugged. They talked battle strategy and contacting the bigger rebellion. All while Sabine cuddled Hera, Ezra and Zeb took turns holding her free hand. It was so comfortable and normal, Hera could fall asleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, Sabine did. And Ezra was yawning. Kanan nudged him. “Bedime, padawan.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ezra pouted, but Hera raised an eyebrow at him, and he sighed. “Yeah, yeah.” He poked Hera in the cheek once more. Zeb huffed and went to carefully lift Sabine from Hera. The three moved out, turning to say; “see you tomorrow.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera nodded, and as soon as the door closed she looked to Kanan. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smirked and crawled over her. She leaned back for him willingly. “I needed that.” She murmured. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He chuckled and kissed the edge of her mouth. “I needed that, too.” They kissed. Hera lifted her arms around the back of his neck, and he let out a low mutterance she felt in her stomach. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had just begun to roll over when the door opened and Chopper, of all droids, let out a high pitched wail that had both of them freezing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chopper!” They both admonished. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The droid went off on them both, saying that Hera wasn’t well rested enough and Kanan was a creep and all the usual. Kanan got into it with the droid, and Hera was so happy she could cry - because when she looked to the left. When she saw the last scan of her insides, all she could think about was how unfair it was. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The days went on. Two weeks of nightmares, of waking up with Kanan sleeping next to her or of Kanan awake and trying to calm her. Two weeks of Kanan having nightmares. They started nice enough - always with Kanan and her having a family of their own blood. Ezra and Sabine helping a tiny Twi'lek with Kanan’s skin tone learn to walk. Of sitting with a human with slightly green ears and grassy green hair with Kanan’s eyes sitting in her copilot’s seat. But then they always ended in a nightmare. Ezra and Sabine crying because the baby was gone. The Ghost suddenly crashing as the copilot left it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera grasped the sides of the sink in the Ghost on one of these nights, breathing heavily and staring at herself in the mirror. The bruise was just barely poking out under Kanan’s shirt she had stolen for bed. She stared at her sunken eyes, the way her cheeks had been rubbed raw from her wiping tears. She looked down to her stomach, and put her hand over her midsection. She let out a deep, bracing breath. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Hera was back to walking around, and sending off pilots to new recruitment and milk runs - when they finally got the news. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan, at her side - as he was since she’d returned, suddenly stumbled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera whirled, ready to catch him. “Kanan?” She demanded. She was expecting...she didn’t know what. A warning through the force. Something happening to Ezra. An incoming attack. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead, Kanan grasped Hera’s wrist. “Come with me.” His blind eyes were wide. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera blinked, then turned to face the room when Kanan’s grip tightened. “We’ll be right back.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The generals exchanged looks, but nodded slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera was pulled out of the room so swiftly she nearly yelped. Kanan marched her straight to the infirmary, waving his hand for the door to open. A med-droid was typing away on a computer. “Ah, General Syndulla. I was just about to call for you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera’s stomach plummeted. It had been two weeks, they had done a scan earlier - about an hour ago. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan lowered his grip until he was holding hands with Hera. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The med-droid faced them. “I’m sorry, it is as we feared.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera...just stopped. Her mind spun slowly, her breath slowed. Her lekku went numb, and she was hardly aware of Kanan wrapping her in a hug. He breathed her name into her ear, but Hera could barely even reach up to hug him back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanna squeezed her tightly. “I’m so sorry, Hera.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hera blinked. She squeezed Kanan’s shirt, then looked up at him. She smiled softly. “I...I felt like we already knew. I think I’ve...I’ve already accepted it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan’s lips quivered, and he straightened with the force of something trying to come up his throat. He leaned down and put his forehead against hers. “I wanted to hope.” He murmured. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She put her arms around his neck. “I wanted to, too.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cried softly, and Hera could only tear up. They leaned against the wall, holding tight to each other, until her comm went off. One of the generals asking where she was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She ignored it until Chopper came on the line. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then, she answered with a quick, succinct; “We lost the baby.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chopper went quiet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan sobbed into her shoulder, and Hera sobbed as well. They had gotten lucky...and who knows if they could get lucky again.How often did lightning strike? She buried her face into Kanan’s chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though the door had been locked, it swung open. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan and Hera opened their arms just enough to see Ezra, Sabine, and Zeb all roll in. Chopper came in lost, bwooping happily at having broken the jam. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Chopper.” Hera half laughed, wiping her eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ezra’s eyes were watery. Sabine looked grim faced, and Zeb’s ears were flattened in sympathy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, gang.” Kanan managed, voice broken. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sabine marched towards Hera, Ezra right behind her. Sabine snuggled into Hera’s open side, while Ezra grabbed his master’s other. They held their arms open for Zeb, who of course scooped them all into his arms and forced the group hug into them being trapped together. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kanan managed to laugh, his face somewhere in her neck. She managed to smile against Ezra’s shaved head. Chopper yelled at them - wanting to get in on the snuggle too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Spectre-7 may have been gone, but their original crew was still together at least. Hera clung to all of them tightly. The Empire would have their doomsday soon. Especially with the way vengeance burned in Hera’s chest. But for right now, Hera cried into the safe embrace of her family for the one they’d almost had. Kanan’s hand stayed clasped in hers, and Hera looked him in the glassy eyes - and knew they hadn’t given up on this dream yet. Far from it. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"And I said; 'No, Filoni, you're fired." <br/>Hello, this is sad. Idk, Jacen - my boi...ya just not it. Like, yes, let Kanan and Hera have a child. Yes, let him be force sensitive and trained by Ezra. But give him both of his parents god dang it. Otherwise don't give me that at all. Not to forget, miss me with that "they never said I love you before but have had sex at some point prior to big boom". Like, bish - everyone knows they f*** they've been married for literal YEARS. But anyways, I'd rather have Kanan live than be given some freak baby man thing. #make star wars about more than blood relation already we sick of it! Lol all jokes aside, hope you enjoyed it, Jacen rest in peace, Kanan live forever. Oh, and they totally banged like ten more times after this and on the twelfth time got lucky again and this time they had the child successfully so like I don't hate him that much don't worry ;p</p></blockquote></div></div>
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